In what promises to be the biggest White House scandal since intern MouthAction, President Barack Obama’s daughter, 16-year-old Malia, has confirmed that she is pregnant.
Sources say Malia is now in her second trimester. Mother and First Lady, Michelle Obama, says that although she will be a grandmother much younger than she planned, teen pregnancy runs in the family.
“On her father’s side of course. My mother-in-law had Barack when she was 18, so I see where Malia gets it from. I’m just so excited to decorate the nursery. The White House hasn’t seen a baby since oh, 1884 or so.”
For now, Malia is staying hush-hush about the father’s identity, but one thing she would say is that he is white. “My mom always hoped I would get with a nice mixed-race man like dad, but love is so colorblind. Mom was probably right though. The dad already left me for some tramp. And of course, like all white men, my baby-daddy won’t want to pay his child support. I already told him, ‘You want to keep your license so you can drive that bleach-blond tramp around in your little Jaguar, right? Better step up.’”
Despite her future motherhood, Malia is still considering her college options. “It’s not like Stanford or Berkeley are going to, like, turn me down for being a teen mother. Hello, I’m the president’s daughter. This doesn’t ruin my plans for a future at all. I can probably get a book deal out of this in a few years. MTV already offered to give me my own show, White House Baby-Momma-Drama or something stupidly titled like that. I was like, no way – that’s so white trash.”
President Obama says he is being supportive of his daughter, despite being as outraged as any father would be if his young daughter announced an unexpected pregnancy. “We’re all very relieved this little blessing happened, and thankfully in my second term.” When asked about his daughter’s ex-boyfriend, he replied, “He’s just lucky I didn’t have him erased. Don’t mess with the Commander-in-Chief, homeboy. Ever hear of the Secret Service? Regardless, we’re sure he’ll come around.”
Malia Obama and her purported boyfriend Dawit Eklund stroll the streets of New York.
Fueling romance rumors from coast to coast.
Malia Obama was spotted hanging out with rumored boyfriend Dawit Eklund in New York City on Monday — a month after the pair spent some time together in LA.
The former First Daughter, 24, and record producer, 33, were seen walking around Manhattan’s Soho neighborhood together. They then went to Chinatown to grab lunch.
Obama and Eklund did not give the paps any confirmation that they are a couple, however, as there were no public displays of affection during their outing.
Obama and Eklund did not appear lovey-dovey.
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“I’m in love, I am. she’s really kind and wonderful,”…
In fact, the pair spent most of their stroll with their arms firmly crossed in front of them.
However, they did not seem upset with one another as they were photographed sharing a smirk with one another in one of the images.
The rumored couple shared a few flirty smiles from time to time.
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I’m in love, I am. she’s really kind and wonderful,”…
Obama looked cool and casual with her hair in long braids, a denim shirt, beige cargo pants, sneakers and dark sunglasses.
Meanwhile, Eklund matched her streetwear vibe, wearing a green shirt, khaki pants, sneakers and a black jacket with daisy prints on it.
In August, the TV writer and music exec were a bit more touchy-feely as they were snapped sharing a hug during a day out together in the West Coast.
Obama and Eklund have been spotted out in public together at least three times.
However, they did not lock lips that time, either.
Reps for Malia did not immediately return Page Six’s request for comment on whether the duo are indeed dating.
Malia was hired earlier this year to work as a writer on Donald Glover’s Amazon series.
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New York City seems to be a place where Barack and Michelle Obama’s eldest daughter likes to visit with her significant others.
In 2018, the then-19-year-old was photographed walking around the Big Apple with her former boyfriend Rory Farquharson. It is unclear when the Harvard classmates split.